The Eternal Smile

Author : Diwakar Narayan

Author Introduction : A former teacher of English Grammar (though I have started forgetting the basics now) and a great admirer of English Language, I took on blogging to show my skills to the virtual world and nick-named myself as Infected Mind. However, having stepped in, I found that I deserved less than the place of a fish in the ocean. Since then, I have been trying to polish my skills to attain the position of a fish. I have no great job and high education to boast of. Philosophically, a God hater who wants to see how life could be, not believing in Him at all.

Story:

The only thing I could see was the vast and endless sky, stained with the white spots. No! From inside the narrow window, half of which wore black paint keeping me from gaining a wider view outside, the only thing I could see was a narrow sky. But it must have been vast; yes, it is vast. I have seen the sky since my childhood and it has always been endless. It was only me who could see it narrow, but only till the next day. After that, I longed to see the sky as it is for I am born to see it the way it actually is, not the way that I saw it then. No one was to prevent me from doing so, from gaining freedom once again!

I took out my magazine and looked at the front cover. It had a picture of a baby. That baby, if it existed, knew little how cruel the world is. But the world is not cruel for it is abstract. It is the people who are cruel. Really? In face, they are not cruel. You can only be cruel if you have a mind. They do not have any. They cannot seem to understand the nature of a human being. He is born to be free, not kept inside a prison. It hurts him, breaks him and weakens him. But to understand that, that little baby had to grow up!

I now opened the magazine to read it but noticed a very strange thing. The address of the publisher was written in reverse order. It read as: XYZ Building, ABC Road, Washington DC. These morons do not now the basics! When a baby is born, it is not born in X hospital but is born into the world, the world that exists. He is born into existence, and then comes the world, then the United States, then a state inside it, then a city and location and a hospital. Ah! Forty years ago, how I was born to existence and they put me under the restrictions of the United States, Virginia, Arlington and now they have dragged me to North Courthouse Road, 1435, Arlington State Penitentiary. When this did not satisfy them, they put in the SuperMax unit and now inside that hell-hole. Never mind, I was to prove them wrong once again.

"Bruce, what happened? What makes you walk restlessly inside this little world, my friend?"

Bruce turned to me. He must have been angry with me till then. But he should not have been, should he? After all, it was not my fault that the cops chanced to shift him in my ward because of some bastard who created havoc by flooding his cell and thus making the cops to move everyone from the other block to mine. Either the cops should have shifted him to any other ward or he should not have had such nice body. Men are supposed to be rough, not soft, don't they?

How could he give so much pain to his soft body? One hour of intense exercise must have had tired each muscle of him.Innocent guy! He did not realize that his body was made to be pampered with the petals of roses and not for intense work-out.

My intelligent mind sometimes gives me such ideas which work in any situation. Those fools! They did not even notice on their computer screens when I gave Bruce the divine pleasure, that also continuously for a period of thirty minutes. But how could have they? I had already blurred the camera with the foam of the bath soap. After all, it is not polite to see the intimate moments of two humans, is it?. That also, blurred scenes! I smiled at my own stupid joke.

"Mind your business, you bastard!"

Ah! He called me names! Yes, he must have still been angry at me. He must be made to calm down. The guards had told me that he had to stay with me for two days and I could not see him furious over my holy deed of this morning.

"Keep it cool, Bruce. You are such a sweetheart. An angry face does not suit you. Tell me, what bothers you so much that you cannot even take some rest?"

”Rest? I have been resting for a very long time and doing nothing. Let my body feel the severest pain so that I can be ready for the eternal sleep."

"Eternal sleep? What do you mean?"

"Yes, eternal sleep. I only have 48 hours of life. How I wish I could have a glimpse of Amy."

"Amy? Who is she?"

"My darling. My dream of days and my reality of nights. The happy moments of my life. My food when I was hungry, my water when I was thirsty. My life when I ran out of breath, my death when I was too lively. But you know what? I killed her."

"And, why did you do so, pray, if I may ask?"

"No! I did not kill her. This is what they say. I was arrested within hours of her murder and soon convicted of the crime. I was too shocked to speak for myself. Further, Everything was against me."

I remained silent to let him speak more.

"When I first got in here, I wanted to get out as soon as possible. But the closed walls are not kind enough, it seems. When she was lost, everything of mine was lost. Now, I think it is better to be a real corpse than a walking one with no human emotions."

He spoke no more now. I let him be.

**************

I tried to sleep, but to no avail. My excitement of getting out of that bloody hell had given me sleepless nights. The first thing I was to do after I came out was to rob the bank again. Yes, I was not the one to be challenged. The arms my gang carried ditched me. Had the gun fired on time when I pulled the triggers, I would not have been there. I intended to see the supplier also. How could he supply faulty armory to me? Did he not realize that it could have cost him his life? No problem, I would make him realize it the moment I was out. Such thoughts gathered in my mind.

Money is the most sacred thing ever known to mankind, is it not? It must not be kept in banks. It must be available to everyone in need. They do not get this. In a wedding ceremony, if food is left out in the end, it is distributed among the poor. Similarly, why cannot they distribute the money to us when they have no use of it? Phew! The whole system needs to change and I must take the responsibility of doing so. I thought so.

"What is that inside your bed?"

His scream woke me up. Had he noticed something?

"Nothing, go to bed and stop screaming. You will land up in more trouble." I retorted.

"Let me see it myself if you do not tell me what it is."

Saying so, he came near my bed and slipped inside my bed. He must have noticed my way to freedom! How could he? I made sure to hide it properly with old magazines. No, he could not see that, he could not cut the rope when I was walking on it? He had no rights to do so. I must convince him not to do so.

"Did you notice a rat, Bruce? These little monsters are everywhere." I said peeping beneath my bead with rest of my body on the bed.

"What is this big hole for? Are you escaping?"

The question stunned me, to the highest degree. Unbelievable! He had discovered my secret. Yes, it was not his fault that the guards put him in my cell. It was my fault to have allowed him. I could have told them that I feared being attached. Any other prisoner was dangerous to me for he would kill me. Such a fool I was! I came under extreme pressure to talk to him tactfully. Any mistake could have ruined my future!

"Bruce, come here. Sit next to me. Listen! This is very important for me to go out. I am not made to be poisoned. I have a different philosophy of life and I must enlighten the world with my thinking, my ways, and my belief."

He continued staring at me. This frightened me even more. If this was any other place in the world, I would have killed him. But here, I could not take any risk. His death in my cell would have been an obstacle in my way out. I could not do that. Simply not!

"Look! Here is a proposal for you. If you want, you can come with me. The tunnel is ready. I could have escaped by now, but the havoc that you created last night made all the guards alert. If you wish to join me, we can execute our plans tonight. Are you listening?"

He turned his head down and looked at the ground. Was that guy crazy? He should have been excited to have known that he had got a way out of this hell.

"Bruce, my friend, see! If you go out, you can kill those bastards who put you here. You can hunt the real murderers of your lady. You will do it, will you not?"

"No. My heart does not allow me to hunt her killers."

"What?" I was taken aback at this sudden turn of his thinking.

"Being behind bars and dying with poison is far more relaxing that knowing that the lady who you have admired your whole life has been a whore!"

It was time for me to remain silent. Not intentionally though; I could not think what to speak. His girlfriend had been a whore! If so, why did he want to kill the murderers when he came here. Yes, this was the question I was to ask him.

"But you wanted to kill those murderers when you came here, did you not?"

"Yes, I did. I have been thinking on it since I spoke to you last. Why did they kill her? Did they know that she was a hooker? It must have been the case that she had been in relationship with them too and cheating them like she did to me. Once they found it out, they took their revenge on her. I must have also done the same thing they did. I must have killed her myself. I regret not having done so."

"But how did you know she was a whore? With little correspondence here, you must have known it before you were arrested and jailed. You had a fair chance of bleeding her to death, did you not?"

"It was proved in the federal court. Till then, it was too late"

I had no more questions to ask him. He obviously did not seem interested in any escape attempts. Was he then going to tell the truth of my secret tunnel to the prison guards? Was he going to take revenge on me for I had raped him in the shower that morning? was he going to deny me my life? No, he had no right in doing so.

"So, you are not telling anyone that you saw anything here, are you?"

"No. But you must do something for me."

"What? Tell me what you want and it is done."

"I need some drugs so as to not feel the pain. My legs have started to refuse to walk anymore. They must be put unconscious so that my mind can make them walk more and more and be ready for the eternal sleep."

This was a huge demand. But I must arrange for it. Yes, rat-lining was the solution. That very practice had helped me plan the escape with my co-inmates and it came handy when Bruce demanded the drugs too. I quickly passed on the message to my co-inmate and in return he sent me the power of life wrapped in paper. Small quantity it was, but had the potential to give anyone the highest of pleasures.

***************

It was time for Bruce to depart. The security guards called him from outside.

"Give me a minute." He responded to the cops. He then turned to me and asked:

"Thank you for preparing me for the eternal sleep, Billy. Live your life to the fullest. You anyway have got very less time to live."

"Less time?"

"Yes, you would have gotten AIDS by now."

I could not take my eyes off his smile while he moved out of my cell.