Monday, 1 October 2012

Untitled Again


Author: Pramod Lohia

Story:
 This story is about Meghana Assefotida, who, always looked forward in life, addressing super challenging tasks with iron fist, and a quaint strangulating smile that baffled the entire staff in the Mega Corporate circle. There was no looking back for her, always striding ahead in leaps. Her intellect and outwit nature had landed her in the most sought after post of Vice-President at the Mega Corporate, with direct accountability to the C.E.O. surpassing the most competitive candidate Mr. Arup.
The challenges were met by her with strong resolve, and the contender Mr. Arup, who had been left at the lower rung, always facilitated her at crucial times. She often wondered at the versatile ability of Mr.Arup. 
They both were in their thirties, and both unmarried. Arun had family issues to cope with, so he couldn’t even think on those lines, and for Meghana the goal was just her career. 
Her favorite pass time game was an online multi player complex strategically designed game, requiring complex brain cells in full action. She played under an anonymous pseudonym of “Maggu” and none could stand anywhere near her on the battlefield, let alone another anonymous player “Strider”.
Her strategic moves were often countered by Strider and she often imagined who that benevolent man was, the callous strides always forcing her brain to think moves further than 50 moves before striking. 
She had started adoring strider in her heart, slowly giving way to his dynamic thinking acumen. 
Today she was in deep thinking, for hours together. All work was pending at desk.
She couldn’t believe her eyes. Strider was none other, Arup himself. The image of Arup found a much higher stature in her heart, whom she had thought of just another common colleague. She was in a dilemma of sorts. The talent always finds the place it deserves, she thought. How clever of him to have maintained the decorum, along with his tasks. Her mind was fully shaken. With the strong resolve, she lost no time in coming up to the decision with brain and heart in unison. She got up and moved towards the cabin of Mr. Arup, alias Strider to put forward her discreet proposal. The emptiness had to be filled, and sooner the better.

6 comments:

  1. The plan for the writing of the story is fine... the story awaited.

    Arvind Passey
    www.passey.info

    ReplyDelete
  2. You create an impressive mood with your narration, PL. But as Mr. Passey pointed out, its just like an introduction and we never really got into the story as such. You know a true story is something you curl up with on an arm chair and get transported into a world different from your own.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey PL! Good attempt but as TF and Arvind say it looks like more a story outline than a story. Also, Arup being almost equal to Meghana is a deviation from the plot line.

    As for the English part : 'strangulating smile' leave me baffled. 'outwit' nature?? 'pass time game' - the better usage would be 'pastime was a game...'; 'let alone.....Strider' givs the impression the Strider was no match for her - which does not jibe with the subsequent part; 'benevolent man'?? - does not seem an apt description at this point in time of the story; "The talent..." - it should be "Talent....".

    ReplyDelete
  4. I know I dissapointed, but mind could 't cook things up fast. Will try somrthing better in next attempt

    ReplyDelete

We love polite people but it is not necessary to be so polite that you will not even point out where we go wrong :) Please feel free to voice your constructive criticism.