Author: Pramod
Lohia
Story:
The
challenges were met by her with strong resolve, and the contender Mr. Arup, who
had been left at the lower rung, always facilitated her at crucial times. She
often wondered at the versatile ability of Mr.Arup.
They
both were in their thirties, and both unmarried. Arun had family issues to cope
with, so he couldn’t even think on those lines, and for Meghana the goal was
just her career.
Her
favorite pass time game was an online multi player complex strategically
designed game, requiring complex brain cells in full action. She played under
an anonymous pseudonym of “Maggu” and none could stand anywhere near her on the
battlefield, let alone another anonymous player “Strider”.
Her
strategic moves were often countered by Strider and she often imagined who that
benevolent man was, the callous strides always forcing her brain to think moves
further than 50 moves
before striking.
She
had started adoring strider in her heart, slowly giving way to his dynamic
thinking acumen.
Today
she was in deep thinking, for hours together. All work was pending at desk.
She
couldn’t believe her eyes. Strider was none other, Arup himself. The image of
Arup found a much higher stature in her heart, whom she had thought of just
another common colleague. She was in a dilemma of sorts. The talent always
finds the place it deserves, she thought. How clever of him to have maintained
the decorum, along with his tasks. Her mind was fully shaken. With the strong
resolve, she lost no time in coming up to the decision with brain and heart in
unison. She got up and moved towards the cabin of Mr. Arup, alias Strider to
put forward her discreet proposal. The emptiness had to be filled, and sooner
the better.
The plan for the writing of the story is fine... the story awaited.
ReplyDeleteArvind Passey
www.passey.info
Thanks Arvind ji
ReplyDeleteYou create an impressive mood with your narration, PL. But as Mr. Passey pointed out, its just like an introduction and we never really got into the story as such. You know a true story is something you curl up with on an arm chair and get transported into a world different from your own.
ReplyDeleteHey PL! Good attempt but as TF and Arvind say it looks like more a story outline than a story. Also, Arup being almost equal to Meghana is a deviation from the plot line.
ReplyDeleteAs for the English part : 'strangulating smile' leave me baffled. 'outwit' nature?? 'pass time game' - the better usage would be 'pastime was a game...'; 'let alone.....Strider' givs the impression the Strider was no match for her - which does not jibe with the subsequent part; 'benevolent man'?? - does not seem an apt description at this point in time of the story; "The talent..." - it should be "Talent....".
I know I dissapointed, but mind could 't cook things up fast. Will try somrthing better in next attempt
ReplyDeleteNothing to say here.
ReplyDelete